Treading on Thin Ice
by Neopuff
Summary: A series of ficlets about Jacques and Josée and their lives before and after The Ridonculous Race. Lots of Jacsee at lots of different ages!
1. only with the heart

These are some more Jacques and Josée-centered fics that I've posted to tumblr over the past few months. _For the Gold_ are the fics that take place during TDRR, these are the fics that take place before and after TDRR. And since I'm posting in the order I wrote them, we're starting off with a really sad one! Sorry about that.

 _summary:_ _jacques left and josée doesn't know what to do. (pre-tdrr, pre-olympics)  
ages: jacques 21; josée 19  
_ _warnings: lots of angst and lots of vagueness  
_ _originally written oct 5, 2015_

 **Only With the Heart**

When he walked out, her chest started to ache.

It wasn't like the ache she got whenever she was feeling sick, or even the ache she got when her mother explained to her why there wasn't a father figure in her life. It wasn't any ache she'd ever experienced before. She was totally unfamiliar. But it hurt - it hurt so _so_ much, and she didn't know what to do.

The first thought was the same as her first thought always was - find Jacques. He'd know what to do. And even if he didn't, he'd know how to find out, and he'd find out for her. He always tried to help even if he had no idea what he was doing.

But that wasn't an option anymore. He was supposed to be the person that fixed her, not broke her. How…how could he? She couldn't stop replaying the conversation in her head - she felt fixated, almost, like the record inside her brain was broken and forced her to relive it again and again.

 _"Josée, I'm done!"_

 _"Done? What's that supposed to mean?"_

 _"You know what it means! You have never treated me right! And I_ am _not-no, Josée, I_ cannot _do it anymore! Your mother was right, this was never going to work out."_

 _"What? Are you joking? You can't just leave! That's-…that's just stupid! You're being an idiot!"_

 _"No, I am actually being smart for ONCE in my life. Goodbye, Josée."_

 _"Fine, Jacques! Have fun with whatever the hell you're going to do 'cause_ _I don't need you here and I never did!"_

It was only ten or fifteen minutes ago. Maybe more, actually - she'd lost track of time. Looking over at the bookcase next to her, she considered the fact that it'd probably been a _lot_ longer than fifteen minutes ago. The case was toppled over on to its side, books strewn everywhere and pages ripped out of them. There were trophies on the floor, a few of them broken (they were cheap kiddy trophies anyway, not like the real gold she wanted), and she vaguely started to noticed that the palms of her hands were throbbing in pain.

She looked down at her hands. There were scratches and a little bit of blood. She looked past them and to the floor - there was a newspaper article about her and Jacques winning a local title with dots of water and blood smeared all over the picture of them.

Well, the source of blood was obvious. Josée wondered why she couldn't remember having this bad of a tantrum. Usually when she got that angry, she'd fall asleep and wake up with Jacques next to her, waiting for her to feel better. This time she just…lost track of herself. Of everything.

She slowly stood up and carefully stepped over the bookcase to make her way to the bathroom sink. There was a book in there - probably thrown through the open door - and she tossed it out before slowly washing her hands. The water stung on all the small cuts she'd given herself, and she was confident that there were a couple splinters piercing her skin as well. She wasn't very good at removing splinters - usually Jacques did that. But she'd manage.

…she _would_ manage. Of course she would. She was a perfectly capable woman who didn't need big strong Jacques to kiss the wounds and make them all better.

Josée looked up to see a very miserable looking girl staring back at her. Her eyes were red and puffy, cheeks stained with black tears from the mascara running all the way to her jaw. Her hair was a mess and her bottom lip looked like it'd been bitten a million times. There were dark bags under her eyes, too. Whoever she was, she looked pathetic.

She reached up with one hand to wipe some of the mascara off her cheek. It was, at that moment, that Josée became angry again. Yes, she was perfectly aware that the girl looking at her in the mirror was herself. She looked pathetic! Weak! Idiotic! And why? Because Jacques decided to leave? Because he decided he was too good for her? That he hated her? She always knew it was coming, so what was the big deal? She needed to shape up! If he was gone then he was gone and that was the end of it.

The water coming from the faucet finally got to the right temperature and she splashed it onto her face - not caring if it got everywhere. Yelling at herself wasn't getting her anywhere. Destroying the living room of their-…of _her_ apartment wasn't getting her anywhere, either. She needed to find out how long she'd been out of it. Maybe make some food. Her stomach felt empty, but any feeling at all was more welcome than what she'd just gone through.

After cleaning herself up, hands still stinging but she'd have to ignore it for now, Josée stepped back out into the barely-lit living room. She didn't remember it being so dark when she'd left, but the moon was out and the cracked clock on the other side of the room said it was 1:34 in the morning. Didn't Jacques leave around lunch time? She had a vague memory of that. What made them fight, anyway? She couldn't even remember saying anything particularly mean.

She knew she was mean to him often. It wasn't…it wasn't purposeful. And in turn she tried not to react too badly when he was mean back. That made it fair, she felt, and then Jacques could blow off any steam he needed to. Apparently it wasn't enough, though. _Apparently._

She moved to the kitchen and found a piece of bread and a block of cheese just sitting out. Jacques must've been making food when it happened. She suddenly couldn't stand the idea of eating.

In fact, just thinking about it was starting to make her nauseous. She ran back to the bathroom and stood over the toilet, hoping to whatever God was out there that this would not actually happen. After two minutes of staring and breathing, she stabilized and her legs wobbled - making her fall to the floor. It hurt. She almost felt like just lying down and falling asleep right there, maybe in the morning she'd feel better.

But she could hear Jacques voice in her head - _"Josée, you need to get up! If you don't get proper sleep in a proper bed, you'll get wrinkles on your perfect face!"_ \- and she knew he was right. He was always right when it came to her health. In fact, he was always right when it came to anything about her. Jacques knew her better than anyone. So…he knew that leaving was his only option. He knew what was best for him. Maybe this was best for her, too.

…it didn't feel like it, though. It didn't feel like it at all. In fact, she just kept feeling worse the more and more she thought about it. Josée was used to being angry, she was angry _so often_ , but now it was almost as if the anger had subsided and all she felt was sadness. Jacques was gone. The only person who seemed to tolerate her - maybe even _appreciate_ her - was gone from her life. And he made it pretty clear he didn't plan on coming back. She felt so empty knowing that. Her head was heavy and her shoulders sagged and she felt herself start to sob again. Is that what happened when she destroyed the living room? Was it just going to become an endless spiral of destroying furniture and blacking out?

She needed to sleep. She needed to get to her _bed_ and sleep. Josée pushed herself up and slowly made her way to the hall. Her room on the right, Jacques' on the left. Her brain said right, but her body moved left and she sadly took everything in. Most of Jacques stuff was still there. He'd only packed a small bag before leaving, if she remembered correctly.

Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot…and suddenly she found herself lying on his bed. She squeezed one of the pillows and immediately noticed it smelled like him. Josée started to cry again, hoping she'd wake up in the same place.

xx

It was bright out when she woke up.

She could feel the sun shining on her eyes, probably through the window on the wall of Jacques' room. If that was true, then she was already doing better. She hadn't woken up in a fit of rage and destroyed all of Jacques' belongings. If he ever considered changing his mind, that would have been something to keep him away.

Josée didn't feel like opening her eyes yet. The memory of Jacques departure was still fresh and she didn't know how she was going to face an entire day without him. His scent that she smelled as she fell asleep was even stronger now that she'd spent the night in his room. At the rate she was going, she was going to start crying again.

In a small effort to seize the day or at least make an attempt to not be miserable, Josée slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was a badly-dried ball of blonde hair. She scrunched her eyes and glared at that, looking around it to see muscular arms hiding what she assumed was a sleeping face. She even noticed a faint snoring sound - somehow she hadn't heard it before.

A few more seconds went by before Josée suddenly jolted upright in bed and looked down at Jacques sleeping next to her. He was sitting on the floor with his head and arms on the bed - his hair was a mess and his clothes looked like crap. It must have been raining last night.

She felt herself slowly reach out to touch him. Was he even real? She didn't hallucinate as far as she knew, but…there was a first time for everything. And him being there, being _back_ , was much too good of a thing for it to be happening to her. Josée didn't deserve to have him come back. He knew he'd be happier away from her so he'd be smart and stay away, right?

He groaned a bit and she quickly pulled her hand back, not having actually touched him yet. She felt tears pricking at her eyes while he picked up his head and yawned before looking at her. There was a good ten seconds of complete silence - besides her heart, which was beating so fast and so hard she could swear it was audible to their neighbors - before Jacques finally spoke.

"J-Josée," he said softly. "…I am sorry."

She blinked. "Wha…what?"

He looked down. "I am so sorry. I overreacted and I…went home for a few hours. Just to talk to-to maman et papa and calm myself down. But I could not stop thinking about you and my heart just started to hurt and-and I couldn't wait so I just came back in the middle of the night and-and-" He took a long breath. "-and I saw the living room looking completely destroyed and I…I did not know that my leaving would make you react that way. I…I was so worried before I found you here. I did not…did not know where you might have gone or what you might have done, I just knew it would be my fault and that I am a terrible friend to you and I am so sorry."

He still wasn't looking at her and Josée could no longer tell if her heart was beating too fast or too slow. He came back. He didn't hate her. He felt like she was the victim. He came back. _He came back!_ She didn't think she'd ever felt so happy in her entire life.

"Jacques…" she finally said, making him lift his head to look her straight in the eyes. "You…came back."

He nodded. "I-I did."

Josée bit her bottom lip - it was still sore from yesterday, but it was all she could think to do. "You…you came back because you wanted to."

"…I missed you, Josée. I missed you so much." He adjusted himself to sit up a little straighter.

She started playing with her hands and pretended not to notice that her eyes were watering again. Her voice was almost inaudibly quiet as she said, "…you don't hate me."

Jacques stretched forward to cup her face and wipe away some tears with his thumb. "Josée I could _never_ hate you! I-…I was just frustrated. I did not mean those things."

Her expression didn't falter as he continued to wipe away her tears, and Josée felt her heart stop altogether. Her brain kept repeating the phrase He came back! and it wouldn't stop. She felt so light and so, so warm. She grabbed his hands with her own and moved them away from her face, holding them in her lap.

"I'm…" Josée felt herself smile brightly. "I-I'm glad you saw your mistake in leaving," she said with a bout of confidence she thought she'd never feel again.

Jacques responded with a wide smile and he leaned forward to kiss her forehead repeatedly. " _On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur_ , eh Josée?"

She put her hands on his chest and shoved him, laughing lightly. " _Please_ tell me you're quoting something!"

He laughed too, moving his face in front of her own. "I thought it was charming!"

Without a second's hesitation, Josée wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled Jacques in for a very, very tight hug. "It _is_ charming. And it's true. I…I'm sorry, too, Jacques."

His eyes were wide for a moment before Jacques wrapped his arms around her waist and tightened the hug even more, shoving his face into her shoulder and loving the feeling of being back in her arms.

Josée sighed into his neck. She just went on the most intense emotional roller coaster of her life in less than a day, but with Jacques back at her side, she was sure she'd be alright.


	2. quenched curiosity

_summary:_ _josée wants to know what it feels like to be kissed, and there's only one person that can help her.  
ages: jacques 16; josée 14  
_ _warnings: none  
_ _originally written october 5, 2015_

 **Quenched Curiosity**

She was fourteen. All the girls her age were talking about it - _boys_ , particularly, they just would _not_ stop as if guys were somehow the most fascinating subject in the world. Josée spent most of her time with a boy and she could say for certain that there was nothing special about them. So she didn't have a lot to talk about with most girls her age.

But, in a slightly rebellious effort to stray from being exactly what mama wanted her to be, Josée still hung out with a couple of them. She was putting out an effort to be friends. And they didn't hate her! In fact, they'd invited her to a few sleepovers. And though Josée didn't understand the appeal of certain conversation topics, she loved the attention that talking about ice skating got. Olivia, Gabrielle, and Sophia always got very excited when she mentioned the rink and Jacques and training for the Olympics.

Especially Jacques, though. They were really interested in him.

It wasn't until the third sleepover that Josée realized their interest was almost 100% directed at him.

"Oh. Wait, what?" she asked when they told her.

"Just tell us more about Jacques!" Gabrielle scooted closer to her. "Like…what's he look for in a girl? Or a guy? He seems like he'd be into both."

Sophia giggled. "No way, I totally get that vibe, too!"

Josée glared at the wall behind them. "I don't…um. Really? Jacques?"

Olivia nodded. "Josée, he's super muscular, super _hot_ , and he's sixteen! You spend all your time with him. Even if he's not your type you can totally use your…relationship or whatever to learn more about guys his age!"

"Sixteen year olds can _drive_. That's so cool," Sophia said, hugging her shoulders. "He drives you around, right?"

She shrugged. "Jacques drives me to practice. Sometimes he'll drive me to school, too."

"Awww," Gabrielle said, her hands clapped together and resting against her cheek. "That's so sweet. You guys are so close I bet he'd get jealous if you went out with another guy."

Josée felt her face turn a little red. "Um…we're not _dating_."

"I know, I know," Gabrielle said. "But don't you think so? Like you're just so close that you on another guy's arm would just make him uncomfortable."

"Uh…I'm…not sure," Josée said, rubbing her cheek. She really hoped she wasn't blushing - this topic was getting so focused on herself and she wasn't used to that. "I… _guess_ I'd feel like that if Jacques started spending all of his time with someone else."

Sophia covered both her cheeks with her hands. "AWWW! That's SO cute, Josée!"

"Has he ever tried to kiss you?" Olivia leaned forward.

Josée raised an eyebrow. "We're _not_ dating."

"Yeeeaaah, but that doesn't mean he doesn't _like_ you!" she said. "I mean, has he ever had a girlfriend? Does he have one now?"

"…I think so," Josée said, looking away. "Maybe not a girlfriend, but he goes on dates sometimes."

"Ooooh," Sophia said, jumping up. "He's _experienced!_ That's so hot!"

Josée slapped her hands over her eyes. She tried to open her mouth and say something to the contrary, but she couldn't think of anything. He probably _was_ experienced. In…kissing. And maybe other things. But Josée barely knew what those other things even _were_ , so it didn't matter! And she didn't have time for any of that! She barely had time for this stupid sleepover.

They talked about Jacques for a little longer - apparently being really close friends with an older guy was a totally interesting thing to talk about for an hour - then moved on to Sophia's hot new neighbor and then Gabrielle mentioned having kissed Olivia's older brother, which made Olivia screech and then they all started talking about kissing. Josée thought she might not come to the next sleepover.

x

Jacques picked her up the next morning. She didn't tell the girls that he was the one getting her, and she really didn't want them to know. Did he know girls her age were really into him? His head would probably swell up 'cause of it.

They were going to drive back to Josée's house so she could change into her gym clothes and then go on a quick run before training at the rink. And she felt embarrassed. The conversations she had with the girls about Jacques and dating and kissing really got to her head.

"Josée?" Jacques asked, taking a quick glance at her. "Are you alright? Your face looks, ah…red."

She blushed even harder. "I…I'm fine. Just…just thinking about stuff."

"…stuff. Okay," Jacques said, making a face towards the road in front of them. He didn't like to pry too much into Josée's personal life - they spent a lot of time together and she _was_ younger than him, so he thought it was a good idea. But when she acted _this_ weird, it made him anxious. "Did you have fun?"

Josée didn't answer, just looked out the window of the car. She felt the urge to ask Jacques something, but she was too embarrassed. She _couldn't_ ask that. It'd be completely awkward. What if Jacques got the wrong idea from it? He'd…it could mess up their partnership. She did _not_ want to be the cause of that. Mama would start asking questions! Her instructor would start asking questions! And then she'd have to tell them that she couldn't control her teenage hormones and Jacques got uncomfortable and left. It'd be absolutely terrible.

So Josée dropped the thought and finally answered Jacques, who seemed happy that she was speaking to him normally. They discussed the girls she hung out with - Josée complained that none of them even knew who Michelle Kwan was, which was just ridiculous - and carefully avoided the fact that they talked about him at all.

Her mind was completely cleared from her earlier thoughts for most of the morning - they got to her house, she changed, they ate some breakfast, they went for their morning run. Everything was completely normal and she felt great. Even the skating rink was emptier than usual, so Josée had more room to practice some new moves without the risk of anyone seeing. Anyone besides Jacques, obviously.

It was when she started heading back to the changing room that Josée finally saw another person. Two people, in fact - one she knew was Ida, a girl around Jacques' age that was very popular, and not just for her skating skills - and the other was some boy she didn't recognize. She only barely noticed them, they were in a corner a decent distance away from her, but Josée could clearly see that they were kissing. They were kissing a _lot._ And she did her best not to stare, but Josée was sure she watched them for at least ten seconds before turning beet red and rushing into the changing room.

She'd finally gotten all that nonsense out of her head and then she was stuck again! Why was everyone so interested in kissing? What was so great about it?

…what _was_ so great about it?! It must've been pretty spectacular for everyone to make it into such a big deal. Couldn't have been better than a gold medal, of course, but…it seemed like it was _something._

Out of old habit, Josée started biting her thumb. It couldn't _possibly_ be that amazing. Could it? She honestly didn't know. Everything about romance seemed so uninteresting to her, but…at the same time, she couldn't know unless she tried. Right? Well, then she'd need someone to try with. There were lots of guys that she thought were good looking. Lots of girls, too. But she didn't want to date anyone or have some kind of relationship. She just wanted to know what kissing someone felt like.

"Josée?"

She almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of Jacques' voice resonating off the walls of the girls changing room. He had his head peeking in the room with one hand covering his eyes. "Are you alright? It's been almost twenty minutes!"

Josée blushed. Had she really been sitting here thinking about _kissing_ for twenty minutes? She wasn't even dressed yet. How…pathetic. Obviously if this was going to be a distraction, she'd need to get it out of the way. "I'm…fine. Jacques, can you come over here? It's just me."

He removed his hand and started walking over - wearing casual clothes with his gym bag slung across his shoulder. "Josée, you have been acting awfully weird today."

"I know," she said, sighing. Okay, if she was going to do this, then she was going to do this. She stood on the bench she'd been sitting on - making her the exact same height as Jacques - and looked him straight in the eyes. "I want you to kiss me."

Everything got silent for about twenty seconds. Josée's heart was beating so fast, but she was ignoring it. This was for her own good!

Jacques rubbed his eyes and then scratched at his ear. "I-I'm sorry, Josée, I think I heard you wrong. What did you say?"

She felt herself blushing and ignored the growl in her throat. "I want you! To! Kiss! Me!"

He stared at her and scratched his cheek. "…you do? Like, on the lips?"

Her face was red. It was so, _so_ red and she wanted to punch him. "Yes! On the lips, okay?! Just-just kiss me!"

"Josée…I…I didn't know you felt this way about me," Jacques said, a blush forming on his cheeks as well. "I…I'm not-"

"Don't make it weird, you jerk!" she growled. "I don't want to date you - I just want to know what it _feels_ like!"

"…oh," Jacques said. He tugged at the collar of his shirt, suddenly very glad she interrupted him. "I…why? Or, y'know what, nevermind. Are you sure?"

"UGGGHHH!" she screeched. "Yes, I'm _sure!_ Or else I wouldn't have asked!"

"Right, right," Jacques said, rolling his eyes. "Well…get down from there. If you want me to do this then we're doing it right."

Josée jumped down from the bench and stared up at him. He was blushing heavily, maybe almost as much as she was, but she was _not_ allowing this to become a _thing_. She just needed to relieve herself of the distraction of curiosity. "Okay. Do it."

Jacques stared down at her. He…he had thought about this before. Not a lot, but he had. When they watched Disney movies together as kids, whenever the prince and princess finally kissed, he'd think about reenacting the scene with Josée. And he'd thought about it when his sisters would make jokes about their relationship or his father would ask if he was dating any girls (he specifically said _"Don't tell me if you start dating any boys,"_ and Jacques knew not to test those waters). Mama was always better at minding her business. Though she's the only one he'd ever told any of this to.

His feelings towards Josée were complicated. Obviously he liked her a lot - he enjoyed being her partner and genuinely thought she was really, really beautiful. She may be two years younger than him, but he felt…he felt like they were the same. So many years of being together and he couldn't imagine going more than a day without hearing from her. He hoped the fact that he had…some sort of a mini crush on her wouldn't mean he was taking advantage of this. She was asking him to kiss her! _Asking!_ This was…this was an opportunity he couldn't say no to!

As if time was going slower, Jacques moved his hand to grip the bottom of her chin. Everything was moving at the slowest pace possible and he could feel his heart trying to burst through his chest. It was just a kiss! He'd kissed plenty of people. None of them were Josée, of course, but it couldn't be that different.

Besides, this was her _first kiss._ She wanted _him,_ of all people, to be her first. Was there any greater compliment? Honestly?

She held in a breath as he touched her chin and started leaning towards her. This was just Jacques. It was just Jacques. Just! Jacques! There wasn't anything romantic or spectacular going on. It was just a kiss. Her face was red and felt hot and she wasn't able to hold back a small squeak.

Jacques smirked and his nervousness went away. She just _squeaked_ because of him. That was the cutest thing he'd ever heard. He chuckled for a half second before Josée shoved her hands on to his chest.

"D-don't laugh at me!"

"I'm sorry, Josée, but it was just…very, very cute. I couldn't help myself. We don't have to do this if-"

She didn't look up at him. "Don't take me less seriously just because I'm em-…embarrassed, okay? I know what I want."

" _Oui,_ " he said quietly, leaning in and finally covering her lips with his own. They were warm - of course they were warm - and her lip gloss felt weird. But he loved it. He _loved_ it.

Josée squeaked as soon as he made contact and reached her hands up to grip his shirt near the collar. This- _this_ was kissing. Well…

He moved his lips against hers and she couldn't think about it anymore. All she could feel was his lips and- and his hands moved down to her waist and she could feel them, too, but it was just…a completely new sensation. She didn't know how Jacques was making her feel like jello, but he was doing it so effortlessly. She practically melted in his arms as he finally separated their lips, holding himself just an inch away from her.

He didn't want to keep moving away. He wanted to kiss her again, and again, and maybe another time. But…he also didn't want to push it. This was new territory for them. It might not've meant anything officially, but now there was going to be something in the air.

At least for him there would be.

Gradually, Jacques separated their faces more, but kept his hands wrapped around her back. Her fingers were still gripped into his shirt, after all, so he wasn't going far. He took a look at her face and smiled. Her lips were still puckered out and her eyes were closed. She was totally entranced in the moment. He'd never felt more proud of himself.

"…Josée," he said quietly.

Her eyes opened quickly and she looked him in the eyes before blushing and looking down at his shoulders where she still had a grip on him. Slowly she let go and brushed imaginary dust off his shirt. "S-so, um…so that's what kissing is like."

"That's part of it," Jacques said, still smiling.

"O-okay. Good. Now I know," Josée said, nodding and pulling herself out of his grasp. "Thank you, Jacques."

He really couldn't stop himself from smiling. Making Josée blush? That's fantastic. Making her blush so much that she was _stuttering?_ That was a lifetime achievement. He'd never outdo himself. "If you ever need more help with this, just ask me."

She walked over to a nearby mirror and started playing with her hair. " _If_ I ever need more help…I'll think about it," she said as she put her hair back up. The only bad part of what just happened, at least to her, was that he'd be driving her home, and if Mama saw her face all red like this, she'd definitely start asking questions. She'd never live it down if Mama knew she and Jacques had kissed! Mama already hated him…it'd be like shame to their family.

"Josée, I'm going to head to the car. Don't take too long, okay?" Jacques said as he walked out of the room.

She just nodded in response and as soon as he was gone and well out of earshot, allowed herself to squeal. That…that was weird. But weird in the best way. She might not do it again with Jacques to ease to awkwardness, but…maybe dating wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.


	3. forgive me

_summary:_ _it's been a few months since the ridonculous race ended, and josée watches a scene she wishes she hadn't  
_ _warnings: some injuries, arguing, etc. also parts of this fic dont really fic with my "canon" for jacques and josée's relationship, but i still wanted to write it, sooo :3c whatever  
_ _originally written october 11, 2015_

 **Forgive Me**

It'd been five months since they lost the gold. They got _bronze_ , honestly? _Bronze?!_ The last time they'd placed third in anything was years before, and Josée's mother hadn't spoken to her for a month because of it. Out of fear, she hadn't even attempted to call her mother once since coming back from New York, not wanting to hear Mama's disappointment at another one of her daughter's failures.

On the upside, Mama didn't even know they were participating. So long as she didn't watch the show, which…she wouldn't, Mama didn't watch silly competition shows, Josée wouldn't have to tell her anything. Unless, of course, she heard about it some other way. It was possible that a neighbor or coworker would decide to open their big mouth.

Considering the show had been airing for over a month already, Josée was confident that no one had. Mama would have tried to contact her by then if she knew.

In a masochistic state of confusion, Josée had been watching the show pretty regularly. She wanted to…she wanted to see herself. Maybe see how others saw her. She said she wanted to try being a better person after the show ended, and she wasn't lying. It could help to see exactly how her actions effected the other competitors.

Jacques wasn't as interested in watching, surprisingly. Josée thought he'd be completely into it, but according to him: _"I'm not interested in reliving that stupid show! Everything we went through and we got nothing!"_ She couldn't pretend he wasn't right, but…she couldn't tear her eyes away.

Since returning to Quebec, their relationship had taken a turn for the better, if there were any positives to losing. In the first week, while they were still dealing with their frustrations and anger and desperate need to redeem themselves, Jacques kissed her in the middle of an argument; suddenly, passionately, and with a _lot_ of tongue. It set the course for the next step in their partnership, they'd decided, and suddenly they were "dating," as average people would say. For them, it was no different than their previous relationship, just…with the added bonus of regular sex. Josée had absolutely no complaints about that.

Alright, there was another big difference. She tried listening to him more - during the competition she had a habit of talking over him, which she could see very clearly in the episodes. Though even then she would always make sure to get his permission before sabotaging another team, it wasn't exactly an equal partnership. She loved leading and she loved being followed, but if her goal was to be a better person, than equality with Jacques was the best way to do it.

Currently, Jacques was attempting to cuddle with her while she was trying to watch the next episode of Total Drama Presents: the Ridonculous Race. The show was very close to ending, Josée could still vividly remember what was going to happen in the episode. She wasn't excited to watch it, but she felt like she _had to._ That had been her absolute lowest point of the race - besides losing, of course - and if she remembered correctly, which she did, Jacques acted like an ass to her. She wasn't going to blame him for it anymore, they'd talked it out and they were fine, but rewatching it might possibly stir up bad memories.

As it started to play, Jacques nipping and kissing at the spot between her neck and shoulders, Josée leaned back against him and wiggled around to get as comfortable as possible. He hadn't been paying attention besides a few glances up at the screen and Josée wondered if he realized what leg of the race they were watching.

It was when the Sisters started talking about the underwater cave that Josée felt herself leaning into Jacques further and starting to hug her arms self-consciously. "Honestly, I don't know if I can watch this."

Jacques looked at her face as she spoke, an eyebrow raised. Without saying anything, he looked over at the screen, and felt all the color drain from his face. "…maybe you shouldn't watch it, then, huh? We can, um…we could do something else! Anything!"

Hearing him speak for the first time in ten minutes, Josée glared up at him. He looked scared.

"Y-you don't want to watch yourself have a panic attack, do you? It just, um…it just doesn't m-make sense!" He reached towards the remote and tried to pull it out of her hands. "Just…turn this off and then we can-"

She pulled the remote out of his grasp, pushed herself away from him, and squinted. "If you think I don't remember what you said, trust me: I do," she said angrily, looking at the screen.

Speaking of, they were currently on-screen, and Jacques was, at that moment, telling her how he wanted to do other things with his life. Josée felt herself get angry, but she and Jacques had been working on some breathing exercises. She counted down from ten in her head and slowly breathed in and out.

Jacques started biting his nails on one hand. He…didn't know what to do. "J-Josée, it was…it was so long ago! It-it really doesn't matter anymore!"

She ignored him and continued to watch. Her expression turned somber as she watched herself panicking like an idiot - it was so hard to watch, but Jacques acting like an ass at the moment made her want to focus on it more. He almost sounded like he wanted to _hide_ something from her, in fact, and Josée was determined to find out what.

Jacques felt his heart stop as Josée started insulting herself on the screen. He knew it was coming. She hadn't heard him then, but…he was sunk. She was going to lose it and it would be all his fault.

 _"I've been taking this crud from her for fourteen years! It's about time she had a taste!"_

The silence that followed that line was going to kill him. She wasn't moving or saying anything. He couldn't see her face, and he was scared to know. Did she hate him? Was she going to scream? Or at least react in _some_ way? He needed her to react or his heart was going to give out.

Slowly, very _very_ slowly, Josée stood up and started walking towards the bathroom. She was visibly shaking and Jacques _knew_ something bad was about to happen.

He couldn't move, instead of following her he squeezed his head between his hands and started mumbling curse words in French. He hadn't messed up this bad in a while and this was…this was very bad.

Josée slammed the bathroom door shut; the force so strong it made her hair blow back just a bit. She walked to the sink and stared at herself in the mirror above it, attempting to count back down from ten.

It wasn't helping. She squeezed the sides of the sink and tried counting back from twenty.

Still not helping. She started hyperventilating and squeezed the sink so hard her hands started to hurt.

Another five seconds later and she punched the mirror in front of her, screaming out in a mixture of physical and emotional pain. How-…how _dare_ he?! Not only did he say that…that awful…but then he lied to her! He lied about it afterwards! He didn't just want to try new things, he didn't want to _deal with her!_ He…what was he even there for?! He hated her. He hated her and then he _lied_ about it and she didn't understand _why!_

Jacques burst through the bathroom door. "Josée!" he screamed, looking at the shattered mirror and her bleeding fist. He reached out to grab her hand. "Jos-"

"Don't touch me!" she screamed at him, pulling her hand away. She couldn't unravel her fist, the glass made it hurt way too much, but she refused to let him help her. "I can't-! I can't _believe_ you!"

"N-no, Josée, I promise I was just…I was frustrated and stupid!" he said, still trying to reach for her. "I didn't mean it! I really, really didn't-"

"Shut _up!_ " she screamed. "You _did_ mean it! I could see it on your _face!_ The entire _world_ could see it on your face! How much you- you hate _dealing with me!_ " Tears were flowing down her cheeks and she felt like she was going to pass out. _Deal_ with her. She couldn't get his voice out of her head and it was making her heart beat too fast and her head was aching and her chest hurt so bad.

"…Josée…I…I'm sorry," he said, feeling his own eyes start to water. "I really, _really_ did not…did not mean it."

She screeched loudly with her teeth clenched, making Jacques cover his ears in pain. "You can't keep _saying that!_ I _know_ it's not true!"

"B-but it _is!_ " he yelled, feeling his chest tighten up. "That was so _long_ ago and I was so _frustrated_ at you, but it's not-! It wasn't…"

She inhaled and exhaled loudly as Jacques glared down at the floor and tried to blink away his tears without letting her see. "I-it wasn't _what?!_ "

Jacques bit his bottom lip. "It wasn't…right of me to say. I acted like an idiot. And a jackass. And I was pathetic and rude and no good to you! Is that what you want me to say?!" he yelled.

Josée blinked at him. Then she blinked again. "What I _want_ you to say?!" she screeched. "I _want_ you to tell me the truth! We're supposed to be partners! We lie to _other people,_ not to each other!"

He wiped at his eyes with his hand, angrily swiping at the wet streaks on his cheek. "Y-you want the truth?!"

"YES!" she screamed, tightening the grip her good hand had on her other wrist. "Tell me that-"

"-that I _love_ you, Josée!" he interrupted. "I've been in love with you for almost _ten years_ and you just-! Anytime something goes wrong or I get even the tiniest bit frustrated you think I _hate_ you?! _Me?!_ Josée, there is _nothing_ in this world that could possibly make me hate you! Don't you understand that?"

She stared at him, her face completely blank.

Jacques glared back, breathing heavily and trying to not break eye contact. If he did, he'd be sunk - he needed to keep looking at her to make sure knew how serious he was. _Take me seriously, Josée,_ he thought repeatedly.

After another few seconds of silence, Jacques couldn't take it. " _Well?!_ Don't you?"

Josée was the one to break eye contact. Her torn hand pressed against her chest, she turned to look down at the sink instead of up at him.

He felt mad. Pouring your heart out to someone isn't easy, and Josée wasn't even going to answer him!? He didn't look away from her eyes. She _knew_ he wasn't lying. She _knew_ he was one hundred percent serious about what he said. Though they'd been intimate for a few months, Jacques had yet to tread into the I-love-you territory on the off chance that Josée just wanted this to stay casual.

But it was too late to keep up that charade. He wanted her to understand exactly how he felt. She _asked_ for him to tell her that and she was just going to…to _what?_ To stand there?! Say nothing?! He didn't just feel mad, he _was_ mad.

As he opened his mouth to yell again, Jacques noticed Josée's bottom lip quivering. He stopped and stared at her lips with a confused expression. "…Josée?"

"…you-…" Her voice was shakey and she was gripping her wrist like a lifeline. "…for…ten years? But…" She finally looked up at him and Jacques could see the full extent of the fear and uncertainty in her eyes. "…then…why did you-?! _Why?_ "

Jacques frowned. "I was _mad._ It was just a short moment! I…I promise I have never stopped loving you, Josée. I _could_ never stop loving you." He stepped towards her and reached out his hands. "…please let me help you."

Josée stared into his eyes and then down to his hands. The blood on her hand had been dripping on to the floor during the entirety of their fight and she was starting to lose the numbness and feel the pain of the glass shards stabbing into her. She looked down at her own hand and bit her lip. "A-ah…"

Jacques didn't wait for her to answer him and grabbed her hand, peeling it open. She started breathing harder, but he knew he'd have to inspect the wounds. There were a couple of big pieces and they didn't seem to be far into the skin. He felt like a weight had been lifted - he should be able to fix this and bandage her up without them needing to go to the emergency room. Having to explain that she punched a mirror out of anger at him would probably lead to questions about domestic issues. They just didn't understand Josée like he did.

She whimpered while he got tweezers out of the medicine cabinet and started removing the glass. The pieces weren't too small that he couldn't see them, but not too large that she'd need surgery. Lucky her. Each time he removed a piece it hurt worse and worse and Josée felt like she was going to pass out. That could've been a mixture of the pain and stress, though.

And God, was she even _more_ stressed than before. He _loved_ her? He _always_ loved her? Then why would he say that? Why would he act like she was such a bothersome waste of his time if he loved her? Sure, Mama acted that way, but Jacques always said Mama was wrong. Was he lying then, too? Or lying now? He had to have lied at some point and she didn't know when or how to tell or what to do about it.

Really, she wanted to pretend she'd never heard it. She wanted to pretend it wasn't real and go back to sitting on the bed being confident in their relationship and letting him kiss her shoulders and hug her tight. She wanted it _so badly._ But..she wanted the truth more. She didn't want him pretending to love her for some sick, twisted game. Maybe he was pretending because he was afraid she'd have another tantrum.

Or maybe…. _maybe_ he was telling the truth. Maybe he really _was_ just frustrated and he really did love her.

She felt her chest getting heavy again. That was the problem! She didn't _know!_ And she didn't know _how_ to know! There had to be some way to make herself more sure of his feelings for her. What would he even get out of playing with her? Some sadistic pleasure? Was it about the sex? Was it-

Josée's thoughts were cut off by Jacques hand cupping the side of her face and she looked up at him, a little shocked. She'd…it happened again? Oh, God, it did.

"Jo-…Josée? Can you hear me?" Jacques asked, sounded more worried every second. She did that thing that neither of them could stand - when her eyes started to stare into space and she wouldn't respond to him for minutes at a time. It gave him a heart attack every time it happened and he never knew what to do.

She blinked rapidly and shook her head before looking around the room. They were still in the bathroom…good. She looked down at her hand and saw it was all bandaged up. Not…so good. It had likely only been five minutes or so, but Josée couldn't stand when she lost touch with reality over some stupid self-conscious worries.

"I-I can…" she said quietly, her lip quivering at Jacques' loud sigh of relief. Suddenly, she felt the tears welling up again. She _wanted_ to believe him, _so_ badly, but…she was just having trouble.

Jacques leaned forward and kissed all over her face - her lips, her forehead, her cheeks, her closed eyes…he didn't know what else to do. He loved her and he told her and she just sat there crying because of him. What kind of relationship could they possibly have after this?

She didn't even try to shake herself out of his grasp. It felt _good._ His affections felt so _so_ good and she didn't want to lose it. Maybe she could try to let it go and just believe him. She could _try_. He…he honestly seemed so genuine. His expression. His eyes. His words. _Everything._ She felt like he was being really honestly truthful and she didn't know what to _do_. What if she was _wrong?_ What if-

Josée cut herself off that time by slapping her hand onto the side of her face that Jacques hand wasn't on. The action really hurt her bandaged hand, but it also woke her up. She needed to _decide._ Decide to trust him or decide to leave.

He was just watching her and reaching out in an attempt to bring her back to him. Jacques had thought he'd seen Josée at her worst, but after many months of them working on how to get her through panic attacks, she was finally having another one and it was as if it was trying to make up for lost time.

His hand was still cupping her cheek - Jacques feared that letting go meant she would stop responding to him again. "Josée…please believe me. J-Je t'aime…"

Josée stared up at him, looking directly into his eyes. Despite all the doubts and all the fear, she really didn't think he was lying. He didn't look like he was lying. He looked like…he looked like he genuinely loved her.

She put her other hand on top of his and squeezed. "J-Jacques…"

"Ah-! O-oui?" he asked, sounding like he was in a hurry.

"Je…je t'aime aussi…" she said quietly, almost like she didn't want him to hear.

Jacques heart stopped beating. Did she say that? Did she really, honestly say that she loved him too? Returning his feelings? Believing him? All at once?

He brought up his other hand to fully cup her face and pulled her towards him for a kiss. Jacques didn't want to ever stop kissing her. He wanted her to feel how much he loved her every second of every moment of every day.

She kissed him back and gripped his shoulders, the weight of the night suddenly lifting from her. Her doubts wouldn't just disappear into that one kiss, but Josée felt like it spoke more than words. She felt like…like she was happy. Jacques loved her. He really loved her and she wanted to stay with him for as long as possible.

Jacques suddenly moved his arms down and picked her up, cradling her in his arms and walking back to their bed. As he laid her down, he took a deep breath. "Josée, please…I'll do anything you want. Anything at all. I just want you to know that I love you more than anything."

She blushed, trying to wipe at her eyes in the hopes that she wouldn't look so pathetic next time she spoke to him. A few seconds later, she took a deep breath almost identical to his own, and sat up straight. "Just…stay with me, okay?"

He nodded, his heart beating faster. "O-of course," he said as he laid down and hugged her waist. "But I would've done this anyway, mon chouchou. If there's _anything_ at all you want-"

Josée turned herself around and shoved her face into his chest. "I just want us back to normal," she said quietly. "I…I love you, okay? I just want to stay like this!"

He kissed the top of her head and then her forehead a few times before moving his hand to her chin and lifting her face to look up at him. "I-I want that, too, Josée. Does…does this mean you forgive me?"

She didn't want him to ask that question. Now she had to actually face her decision. And was it really true? Could she shred all of her doubt just because he always stuck by her no matter what she did? Just because he said he'd be there for her forever and he'd proven it over and over again?

Josée nodded slowly and leaned up to kiss his bottom lip. "…oui."


	4. dreams

_summary:_ _jacques enjoys the fact that josée talks in her sleep. pre-olympics.  
ages: jacques 21; josée 19  
_ _warnings: this is kind of rambley. apologies!  
_ _originally written october 18, 2015_

 **Dreams**

She always mumbled a little in her sleep. Jacques thought it was adorable, so he never told her about it in fear that she might find a way to stop it. _Especially_ if she knew the types of things she said while asleep…Josée would be mortified.

She often spoke in French, for one thing. Jacques loved it when she spoke his first language; though obviously she hadn't learned it just for him, he loved it all the same. It reminded him of when he was a very young child and his family hadn't forced him to learn English yet.

And even more often than that, she'd mention his name. Not always in a good way - he could tell from her tone - but Jacques enjoyed knowing that he was such an important part of her life that he frequently starred in her dreams. So many times he'd considered waking her up after she mumbled his name and asking her what she was dreaming about. Maybe someday he would.

In that particular moment, however, Josée had just fallen asleep while they were watching a movie together. She was leaning against him on the couch and snoring very lightly. Jacques beamed at knowing she was so comfortable with him - of course, there was no reason she _shouldn't_ be, but still. He was enjoying the moment.

She snored quietly and cuddled up against him and Jacques felt like he was King of the World. Maybe tonight would be the night he wakes her up and asks her about her dreams. She might not tell him, but maybe she'd blush and turn away and he'd be able to guess what was going on in her head based off of her reaction. That would be…well, it would be adorable.

He wished he could see her dreams. He knew the dreams she _spoke_ about - winning gold in the Olympics was her goal in life and he'd help her achieve it if it was the last thing he'd do - but he didn't know much more than that. Josée wasn't like a lot of girls (and guys) he knew - she never talked about boys and relationships and marriage. For obvious reasons, sure, but it bugged him a bit.

She liked him, Jacques knew that. He was even pretty confident that she might love him. But…he didn't know what that meant. They kissed and hugged and had sex and spent all their time together, but he just wasn't sure what she wanted.

Jacques knew what _he_ wanted. He wanted her. He wanted her for the rest of their lives. And he had always been a very confident person, but when it came to Josée's heart he was a little stuck. Did she want to marry him? Did she want to be with him forever?

Maybe out loud she'd never say whether or not she felt that way, but Jacques felt like her subconscious would be the place to find his answers.

She rolled a bit in her sleep and squeezed his shoulder. Jacques blushed and smiled down at her. She was like…she was perfection. He couldn't imagine being without her. What if bringing up a long term relationship - not just partnership, but an actual, real relationship - ruined what they had? He couldn't stand the idea of losing her.

She mumbled his name and Jacques felt his heart jump. Should he do it anyway?

He stared at her as she said his name again, a little more aggressively this time. Slowly, Jacques stood up and slid his arms under her to pick her up bridal style. Josée leaned into him and snorted before going back to her normal snoring. She was so cute he could hardly contain the _"awww"_ stuck in his throat.

Jacques carried her through the living room and back to her bedroom, gently setting her down on her bed. She gripped his neck and tugged him down with her, making Jacques blush again.

It wasn't like they hadn't been with each other for years, so he always felt like an idiot when she managed to make him blush without even trying. Hell, she wasn't even _awake_ and she could still do it!

He started pulling her arms off of him when Josée grumbled and peeked her eyes open. She wasn't phased by the closeness of Jacques face, rather she just smiled sleepily at him.

"Jacques…" she mumbled quietly.

He smiled back at her. "Hey. Having a nice dream?"

"Mmhmm…" she closed her eyes again. "We won….mmm….the gold…"

Jacques chuckled lightly and finally got her arms off of him. He should've known. It shouldn't have made him sad, but he couldn't help it. "…of course we did, Josée. We're the perfect team."

She smiled and settled into her pillow, not reacting to Jacques tucking her in. He just kept smiling down at her as he moved towards her door. Maybe he was being too idealistic. Winning the gold was what Josée wanted – after they got it, maybe she'd start thinking about other things.


	5. her hero

_summary:_ _mother knows best - that's what josée told herself, anyway.  
ages: jacques 15; josée 13  
_ _warnings: josée reflecting on her very complicated feelings towards her mother - warnings for child abuse!  
_ _originally written october 26, 2015_

 **Her Hero**

She was scared.

Whenever it happened, she felt cramped. She felt somehow too hot and too cold. She felt lost and afraid and unloved and untouchable and alone. It was terrifying.

But Mother knows best, right? Obviously this was the punishment she deserved. This was…this was probably normal - her partner's parents were just too soft. This was normal parenting. This was parenting done right.

And how could she complain? A single mother raising a failure…obviously she deserved it. She deserved to feel sick and unloved because that's how she made Mama feel when she brought home a bronze medal. _Bronze!_

She told herself that over and over, hoping she'd be able to comfort herself. How dare she want to cry? Was she a baby? A pathetic, whiny baby? No. She was _thirteen_ and she'd been dealing with this for years. Even longer than she'd been dealing with her current partner.

He didn't know. He'd ask why she looked so tired - _You didn't sleep well last night?_ \- and she'd shake her head and ignore the question. How could she sleep well after being locked up for an hour? He couldn't understand. His parents probably gave him a hug and said _"Good try!"_ when he brought silver home. It almost made her angry. He was lucky.

She shook her head. _No!_ He wasn't lucky! Because of their lack luster parenting he was turning out soft and calm and unassertive. It would catch up to him in the long run - she knew that for a fact. Mama was bringing her up the right way and it would lead to her future successes. He could carry her on the rink while she carried him to the gold.

And that was fine. He may have been soft, but she appreciated him. She appreciated his strength and the fact that he was totally dedicated to her. That was the type of man she needed in her life - though Mama hated him, it didn't matter. Mama knew he was the best partner she could have.

But a partner, despite all the times he'd been there for her, couldn't always be there. And when she was in the cold, cramped closet that Mama felt it was appropriate to stick her in, she knew he wasn't coming to help her. Why would he? He didn't know anything was wrong. She intended to keep it that way. He'd just…get upset. And be generally unhelpful. Maybe he'd say mean things about Mama again, and she'd overhear again, and hit him with a lamp again.

It was her own lamp, one she had since she was very young. But it was okay - she didn't like that lamp anyway.

She shivered and felt a headache coming on. How long had it been already? It felt like hours. She had no way to check, but usually if it felt like hours, then it'd only been fifteen minutes or so. Once she was completely numb of fear, then it was likely time to go.

She thought about her partner again. That usually helped calm herself down. He was…charismatic and kind and loyal. And handsome. She wanted him to be her partner for as long as possible. At least until she could move on from Mama and start taking care of herself.

She knew it was contradictory to say she was being raised correctly and to also want to leave. But…there was only so much she could take. She wasn't perfect, as Mama made very clear every time she brought silver or bronze home. She was not perfect at all.

It couldn't have been more than a half hour when the lock started jiggling and the closet door creaked open. Mama glared down at her and she stared back up, hoping Mama wouldn't notice that her eyes were watery.

"You have a guest," Mama said. "I don't know why he thinks it's appropriate to visit someone so late at night, but he's being obnoxiously insistent that he see you."

She blinked. "…o-okay."

Mama frowned. "Pardon?"

"Y-yes, Ma'am!" she corrected herself nervously, standing up and wiping off invisible dust. Mama stepped aside and she walked out of the closet, through the hallway and to the front door. As she opened it, a familiar and comforting face smiled at her.

"Hello J-"

"Why are you here?" she interrupted. "It's late. You know Mama doesn't like it when you come over at night."

He frowned. "I…I know. But, um…"

She frowned, hoping she didn't look as anxious as she felt.

He held up his phone, showing that he had a missed call from her. She didn't remember doing that. Hoping Mama wasn't watching, she pulled out her phone and hurriedly looked through it.

Well, obviously he hadn't made it up. But she'd never made that kind of mistake before. How could she not remember calling him? And then he called her a couple times after.

"I also, um…" he started. "You left me a voicemail and…I don't know, it sounded like you were crying."

She blushed.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay…"

She pressed her hands against the sides of her face, feeling that her skin was noticeably warm. Her eyes started to water. Was he going to start asking questions? She didn't have the energy to deal with that and Mama was probably nearby.

"…you heard wrong," she said quietly.

He frowned, reaching out his hands and tugging hers away from her head. "Are…are you sure?"

Her lip started to tremble and she felt like an idiot. She didn't want his immature concern to make her feel like that. It made her feel a heaviness in her chest that she knew wouldn't be solved with some pain medication. He always made that stupid face and got that stupid tone of voice whenever he knew Mama had yelled at her and she absolutely _hated_ it.

He made her feel loved in that stupid soft way that she saw in stupid movies and she couldn't stand it.

She bit her bottom lip and tugged her hands out of his grasp. "…yes, I'm sure." She hoped he couldn't hear how much her voice was shaking.

He nodded uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck. "If you're sure…I guess I'll see you tomorrow." He started to turn around.

She looked behind her to see if Mama was watching. With no sign of the older woman, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, resting her face against his back.

"…thanks for coming anyway, Jacques."

He blinked at the small hands intertwined on his chest and blushed- knowing his mom was watching this from her car. "N-No problem, Josée…"

She pushed herself away from him and played with her hair. "See you tomorrow," she said quickly, rushing back into the house.

He scratched his head - even more confused than he was when he checked his phone earlier. Were all girls like that or was it just his partner? Mama would probably just laugh if he asked.

Inside the house, she took a deep breath to make sure there was no noticeable blush on her face and marched towards the kitchen where she knew Mama was waiting.

"He's gone, Mama," she said as she stood in the doorway.

"Good, now go get ready for bed," Mama said. "I'll be up in five minutes and I expect you to be ready."

She blinked. "Um…y-yes, Mama," she said and headed up the stairs. Mama never cut punishment short. _Never._ She must've felt weird having it cut off partway through, And it was all thanks to him.

Maybe he wasn't exactly her knight in shining armor, but sometimes he still managed to be her hero. Josée laughed at the thought and stepped into her room. Jacques - her _hero._


	6. la premiére - part 1

_summary:_ _he was her first kiss many years earlier, but now she was asking him for something a little more…complicated.  
ages: jacques 19; josée 17  
_ _warnings: lots of talking about sex. this is a two-parter, and the second part will actually have sex in it, so...yeah. enjoy this pg-13 first chapter.  
_ _originally written december 6, 2015_

 **La Premiére | 1/2**

She was dating a guy named Francois.

It was an ugly name, Jacques thought, although the guy wasn't _bad_ looking, a bad sounding name was enough reason to dislike him. Not to mention his personality and his stupid need to take up Josée's time.

And obviously Jacques wasn't jealous - he still spent more time with Josée than anyone and she _did_ use him to practice kissing. All the time. He had absolutely no objections with that and as far as he knew, Francois was clueless. Josée probably didn't even realize that Francois would probably not like it – _ha!_

That being said, however, Jacques didn't particularly trust Francois. He was…well, he was _shady!_ He'd probably ask Josée to do weird sexual things that she didn't know enough about to say no to - especially if he made it sound like a challenge.

It was frustrating every time they went out on a date because Jacques knew that this guy - some talentless hack who'd only known Josée for two months - might get to know more about her than Jacques did. The thought just made his blood boil. He'd known her for eleven years! _Eleven!_ He knew her better than anyone. And some nobody showing up to whisk her away in his arms….ugh.

Jacques walked to his kitchen fridge to get some water. He needed to get his mind off of Josée and Francois before he convinced himself to chase them down. Follow them on their date, maybe? Josée would be pissed if she found out. Maaaybe a little, secretly flattered, but mostly pissed.

Francois would, of course, be angry. Josée had explained on multiple occasions that Francois didn't appreciate Jacques always "butting into their personal lives." As if Jacques wasn't a significant part of Josée's personal life? Outside of school and sleep, Josée spent practically every minute with him! At least until Francois came along to steal her away. He still didn't understand why Josée's mother approved of it. Bitterly, Jacques knew it had something to do with his unhappiness. Renee _looooved_ to see him suffer, after all.

It was on a late Friday night that Jacques was suffering just like Renee wanted: he was sitting at home by himself and thinking about their dates and Josée doing her cute little giggle at something Francois said that wasn't even funny and then them getting closer and closer to one another before kissing passionately. He couldn't stop himself from being angry - another man's hands on her body just made him want to scream. Francois didn't know how to properly handle her or what she liked or what made her shiver in a way that she probably didn't even understand. So she'd be settling for second-best with Francois and Josée _hated_ second anything! But she thought she was getting gold for whatever reason so there she was anyway.

He was mulling over the possibility that he should call up a friend and go get some drinks at a bar - it was only 9 after all, so Josée's date would likely go on for a few more hours at least. And he needed something to keep his mind off of it.

Jacques picked up his phone and started to dial when it interrupted him with the buzzing and chiming of an incoming call.

He blinked and raised an eyebrow, answering it cautiously. "Josée?"

—–

She really liked Francois. He was handsome, smart, his dad was a local politician, and he bought her lots of nice things.

She'd met him in eighth grade - back when she was still in public school, and they hadn't been close or attempted to keep in contact since. But recently they ran into each other at the ice rink after his hockey game ended and her training was about to start, and they hit it off.

After all, he was Class President, soon-to-be valedictorian, in the running for Prom King, and captain of the hockey team. But most importantly: Mama adored him! Or, well, she said he was adequate - which was better than Jacques ever got.

…not that she'd ever mentioned the idea of dating Jacques to her mother. Mama would just occasionally bring it up and remind Josée that it was a terrible idea. Which was fine, she had no intention of ever dating him. _Especially_ when she had Francois!

They'd been dating regularly for almost two months and Josée was so excited about it. She'd never had a real boyfriend before and he treated her so well - sure, he'd occasionally get angry at her for little things, but so did Mama. And she was like that with him sometimes, too. Every couple had problems here and there - the important thing was that he loved her.

Or…liked her a lot. She was still getting used to all of this romantic crap. Honestly, most of it felt so pointless. According to the movies, saying "I love you" for the first time was a ridiculously big deal, so Josée knew she shouldn't say it for a while still.

Tonight was going to be a really fun night - according to Francois, anyway - and Josée wasn't sure exactly what he had in mind, just that he usually planned the best dates.

Jacques always made snide comments when she described the dates to him, but she knew he was just jealous. Why wouldn't he be? She got to go on spectacular dates with a really, really handsome, smart, rich guy. Jacques was going to bars with his ex-boyfriends and being forced to pay for drinks. He was _sooo_ jealous.

It started off just as great as she'd hoped - he picked her up in his car, they drove to a really nice, expensive restaurant, he paid for everything…

And then things went sour. It was a little thing here or there: a glance at that waitress, an eyelash batting at the host. They were both stubborn people prone to jealously, and the night was not going the way either had hoped. Once they were back in the car, it exploded.

"You didn't have to look at her like _that_!" Josée yelled - arms crossed and facing the window.

"Oh, what way was that? In her _direction?_ Or like I was _listening?!_ She was taking our order!" he yelled back. "I'm not the one who couldn't take her eyes off the host!"

"Oh, _PLEASE!_ You don't get to play innocent and then turn that around on me! I just thought he looked familiar and I was trying to remember why!"

Francois stepped on the gas harder. "Yeah, sure, maybe you saw him when you were _FUCKING_ him!"

"WHAT?!" She blushed. "You know I've never-!"

"I know what you _told_ me, Josée!" He squeezed the steering wheel. "How do I know you're not lying, huh? With the way you acted tonight I wouldn't be surprised if you were sleeping with _every_ guy we ran into!"

"You-! You're an ass! You were practically reaching for her _boobs_ and-"

He suddenly stopped and pulled to the side of the road, knowing they were only a few blocks from Josée's house. "You! Are! _Delusional_! Now get out of my car!"

She blinked at him and looked outside. "Oh, you've got to be _kidding_ me!"

"Out! We're _DONE_."

Josée pouted and felt her head get hot. She wanted to tantrum, but she refused to do it in front of him. "…I can't _believe_ you! To think i actually thought about d-…doing it with you!"

Francois laughed. "Oh please! You're such an uptight _bitch_ , no one would ever wanna do _that_ with you!"

She hesitated for a second before reaching over and slapping him across the face. She scoffed and stepped out of the car, not bothering to turn back to him.

Francois rubbed his face and glared, reaching over and shutting the door. As he started up the car again, Josée could hear him screaming to himself. And with that as the final straw, she felt herself start to tantrum. There was no one nearby to calm her down, but fortunately it was cold enough out that she wouldn't fall asleep.

After ten minutes of screaming and tearing apart a bush, Josée stared down at her phone. She wasn't far from home, but…she didn't want to have to tell Mama what happened. Especially since she was supposed to stay at Francois' house that night, Mama probably went out and didn't expect her back til morning; changing plans last minute would just make her mad.

With that in mind, she called the only other person she had.

—–

Jacques drove down the street, looking left and right to try and see a small girl standing and probably shivering by the side of the road. Never in his life had he wanted to punch someone more than he wanted to punch Francois at that moment. That…that _pathetic piece of shit_ would not get away with just leaving her, whether Josée instigated the breakup or not.

Finally he saw her figure in the distance and pulled up next to the sidewalk, unlocking his door and anxiously waiting for her to get in.

She slipped into her seat and closed the door, neatly placing her hands in her lap and staring down.

Jacques stared at her. "….Josée?"

"Thanks for picking me up," she said quietly.

He chewed the inside of his cheek and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "…it's no problem."

She was being really quiet, and seemed sad and cold and he didn't know what to do. Did she want to talk about it or would that just anger her more? He needed to help her somehow. This silent girl was not the Josée he knew and lov-…

…that he _knew_.

Jacques started up his car. "Do you want me to take you home?"

She shook her head. "…can we go to your place?"

He nodded, knowing better than to ask any questions. She probably just didn't want to talk to her mom about what happened. Which was understandable.

As they drove along, Jacques kept glancing over at her. She was just staring out the window. He thought back to what she said on the phone.

 _"…Francois and I are done. He left me on the corner of Avenue Upper Belmont and Chemin Edgehill…can you come pick me up?"_

Jacques couldn't pretend he wasn't a little happy about the breakup; finally Francois was out of her life. But it was a petty joy and he knew Josée deserved better than that. She really liked him. Her heart might be _broken_ for all he knew.

He bit his lip as they pulled up to his apartment. He moved into his own place as soon as he graduated from high school and Josée loved coming over. There were even a few instances where she held sleepovers at his place instead of her own - he was much more lenient about bedtimes than Renee, after all.

Josée stayed silent as Jacques turned the car off and opened his door. She got herself out and was hugging herself uncomfortably. Jacques felt his hatred for Francois increase every second…but he needed to focus on what was in front of him - and try to cheer her up somehow.

In a burst of confidence, he walked up behind her and suddenly picked her up bridal-style, enjoying her embarrassed squeak as she wrapped her arms around his neck for balance.

"Jacques!" she said. "What are you-! What are you doing?!"

He smiled down at her. "I just figured since you look like royalty, I should treat you like it, too!"

Josée stared up at him for a second before laughing. "You're so _stupid_. I probably have leaves sticking out of my hair," she said while reaching a hand up to check.

Jacques walked into his building and towards the elevator while continuing to smile. "Non, Josée, your hair looks as perfect as always."

Her legs swung a bit and she leaned into his chest. "Mmm…good."

 _So far, so good,_ Jacques thought. Maybe Josée wasn't heartbroken after all - they only dated for two months, so…it's possible she wasn't _that_ attached.

They chatted idly while heading to his apartment, Josée asked what he was doing when she called, he asked what their date was like without asking what went wrong.

They were sitting on the couch and drinking hot tea when Josée's expression changed. Jacques noticed immediately and wondered if she was finally going to tell him why she and Francois broke up.

Instead, she dropped on him the most unexpected bomb of his life. He doubted anything else would ever match it.

"…would you have sex with me?"

Jacques froze and stared down at her, absolutely sure he heard whatever she said wrong. Obviously Josée would never ask him something like that, because they had a strictly platonic partnership and nothing could ever come between that and of course they weren't even attracted to one another and- and-…and he just heard her wrong. End of story.

Awkwardly, he scratched the skin in front of his ear and laughed. "Ah, sorry, could you say that again? I misheard the question."

Josée growled and crossed her arms over her chest defensively, a deep red blush appearing on her face. "I just-! I just wanted to know if you would have sex with me!"

Jacques blinked.

"… _hypothetically_."

He blinked again. "J…Josée, did…did Francois try to do something? Is that why you broke up? If he so much as touched you the wrong way I will hunt him down and-"

"No, Jacques!" she grumbled, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "It's not like that! I just asked you a really basic question and you're taking forever to answer so I get it; it's a no. Whatever!"

He frowned. "W-well, I-"

"I just…" she said, interrupting him. "I just want to know _why_ you wouldn't. 'Cause I know I'm pretty, but…maybe I'm not… _sexy_? Or is it my personality?" She was blushing heavily as she rambled on and Jacques felt himself get sick to his stomach.

"N-non, Josée, it's none of that! I only hesitated because-" He paused, still a little confused as to why they were discussing this. "…because we're partners! And-and you're my best friend. It would be…y-you know!"

She growled again. "I _know_ we're partners. That's why I asked hypothetically!"

"…well, I, um…." He felt hot. Was the room getting hotter or was he really so embarrassed at the thought of… _making love to Josée_? He'd had plenty of sex in the past few years - with girls, boys, even an individual who referred to themself as genderless. But Josée had always been off-limits. Even when they kissed or cuddled or…made-out, he was ashamed to say, he forced his mind to not wander to anything further than where they were. He and Josée were ice dancing partners that occasionally cuddled and kissed because it was comfortable and convenient. There wasn't anything else to it.

But, of course, Jacques couldn't control what went on in his head while he was asleep. And he'd had a decent number of dreams about Josée and himself. But…he never, not _once_ in a million years, thought they'd actually hook up.

Jacques wondered, though, if given the opportunity, would he? Josée naked and desperate, writhing underneath him and practically begging for him to push inside of her?

…yes, oh _God_ , of course he would. That wasn't even a question, really. And if Josée was looking for an honest… _hypothetical_ answer…

"Well?"

"I-…if….if you were interested then….y…es, I would," he sputtered out, hoping she wouldn't judge him for blushing so much.

Josée just nodded and turned her head away from him, looking like she was thinking a lot about something. She tapped her fingers on her thighs - which he just noticed were _very_ visible - did she always wear dresses that short or did he just never notice? - and from his angle it looked like she was biting her lip.

With the awkward silence, Jacques grabbed his water and started to talk. "Josée, why are you asking me about this?" He took a swig of water.

"…what about… _not_ hypothetically?"

He spit out the water in shock, face red and not sure how he ended up in this situation. Looking over at Josée made him realize she was one hundred percent serious - her face was just as red as his, maybe moreso.

"J-Josée!" He stared at her. "Why-"

"I want to know what sex is like and…and you're the only person I could do it with!" she said very quickly - Jacques almost had trouble catching every word.

"…y-…you mean you and Francios never…?"

"No!" She had a scandalized expression on her face. "I'm not so _easy_ that I'd sleep with a guy after only two months…"

Despite her words, Josée had a guilty frown on her face. Jacques knew she wouldn't lie about being a virgin - that just wouldn't make sense - but he was still totally clueless on what went down between her and Francios.

"Of…course not, Josée…I just-" He stumbled over his words. "I assumed that was why you brought it up…"

Josée stayed quiet for a minute before groaning and throwing her hands up the air. "He said no guy would ever want to fuck me, _okay_?! Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Jacques frowned. "Did he…did he really say that? I'll…" He paused. "I'll teach him some manners, Josée. Your idiot ex-boyfriend needs to learn to stop lying through his teeth."

She continued to frown, looking down at her lap again. "…is it a lie?"

Jacques was shocked and reached down, putting one of his hands on top of hers. "Of course it is! Any man would be honored to have even just a chance of being with you, Josée! He'd have to be brain dead to feel otherwise!"

Hesitantly, Josée turned her hand around to grip his. "…including you?"

He blushed. "U-uh, well…I mean, uh…oui…but-"

"…but we're _partners_? Is that really the only thing in the way?"

He blushed even more. "I…I…guess so.." Jacques thought about pulling his hand away, but it didn't budge. "But that's…kind of a big deal! What if things got uncomfortable between us or-"

"They won't!" she said, finally looking up at him. "It doesn't have to be any different from the kissing we already do! It doesn't have to mean anything special…"

"…ah, right." Jacques felt a little trapped. He did want to have sex with her, but he really wasn't confident in his ability to not be affected by it. "I…I'm sorry, Josée, but…it _would_ be something special. I can't make myself see you as just another girl…"

She chewed the inside of her cheek. "…well, what about a…learning experience?"

"Huh?"

"…you're just teaching me how to…have sex. Or whatever. So it's not meaningless, but if you don't like it then it doesn't have to be weird."

Jacques blinked down at her. The logic was mostly sound, but he felt like Josée really underestimated the emotional toll that having sex with your best friend of over ten years could have. He wasn't worried about _not_ liking it, he was worried that he'd like it too much! It'd be the final piece in the _Do-I-Love-Her?_ puzzle.

But…if he _didn't_ say yes, would she go out and try to find someone else? Just the thought of the possibility was eating him alive. He was her first kiss, after all…so…he could be her first time, too.

He played with his fingers. "Do you, um…are you….are you sure you're sure about this?"

She growled.

"Okay, okay!" Jacques held up in hands in surrender. "Josée if you…really…want me to, uh… _teach_ you…I-I'll do it."

Rather than celebrate her win, Josée just nodded, still blushing like crazy and not looking up at him. Jacques couldn't help but feel a decent bit of pride at how embarrassed she was.

"…good," she said finally, standing up and brushing invisible dust off herself. "Then, um, how do we-?"

Jacques froze. "Wha-?! R-Right now?! N-Non, Josée, I need time to…to _prepare_!"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Prepare? Like what?"

He blushed and wondered how this girl ended up so naiive and sheltered after so many years of hanging out with _him_. "Ah…there's a…couple things."

She pouted. "You're not very good at this teaching thing."

Jacques laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Ah…well…what I'm doing is more for guys, so you don't need to worry about it."

She squinted at him for a second before shrugging. "Fine."

The room turned quiet for about fifteen agonizingly long, awkward seconds until Josée opened her mouth again. "So when are we…doing it, then? Is it going to be a surprise?"

"O-oui! A surprise!" He gave her a big smile. "Don't worry, Josée, I'll make sure it's perfect for you!"

She thought about how to respond to that before her expression softened and she smiled back. "…merci, Jacques."

His eyes sparkled at her speaking in his native tongue, even just briefly, and the rest of their conversation that night was in French. Jacques loved every second of it - up to the point when she fell asleep cuddled up next to him.

He smiled down at her and picked her up bridal-style, carrying her to his bed. Sure, okay, they'd have sex sometime soon and it would most likely be in his apartment and in this bed that he was standing over…but that didn't mean their usual spooning and cuddling had to be weird.

She woke up for just a second as he crawled under the sheets, cuddling up into his chest and immediately going back to sleep.

Jacques tried not to touch her too much. He couldn't stop thinking about…having sex. With _Josée_. It was like a dream - and, literally, he'd had that dream many, many times - and now he couldn't stop thinking about the curve of her body and how her hands pressed against his chest. Was there always a strange sensuality behind her movements when they cuddled or was he just projecting big-time?

…she'd probably always been this way and he was too stupid to notice. God, this…this might change things.


	7. la premiére - part 2

_summary: he was her first kiss many years earlier, but now she was asking him for something a little more…complicated._  
 _ages: jacques 19; josée 17_  
 _warning: sex! descriptive first time sex. not super graphic, but still…not for kiddos._

 **La Premiére | 2/2**

Their little "not-date" was going exceptionally well - at least Jacques thought it was. Josée seemed a little nervous; it was pretty obvious that this was the night he planned to "surprise" her. She had every right to be nervous. He was, too.

After all, he'd been thinking about this night nonstop since Josée first brought it up. It'd only been a week, but Jacques had been _very_ distracted (annoyingly so, Josée mentioned) during practices at the rink.

But now, Jacques hoped, she was starting to see why. He really went all out - reservations at the most expensive restaurant in Montreal, really delicious, quality wine that he let Josée have a little bit of (but not too much), and then a long, leisurely drive back to his apartment.

Josée had to admit, she was enjoying herself significantly more than she ever did with Francois. She started to consider that maybe she never liked Francois that much at all - maybe she was just projecting 'cause he was her first boyfriend. Or…maybe Jacques was just better than Francois at dating.

She wouldn't be surprised. Jacques was wonderful at most things he did - otherwise she wouldn't bother keeping him around. It was their shared love of beauty and perfection that made them the epitome of partnership in their ice dancing performances.

On this…fake-date with Jacques, Josée had an unfamiliar feeling in her gut. She was used to his flattery and she was used to being happy around him. But the feeling was more like something she'd get around her mama - like something was beating at the sides of her stomach.

She was nervous. _Anxious_ , even.

And that was ridiculous! It was just Jacques. And he was teaching her something that even the dregs of society managed to do without batting an eye, so why should she have any nervousness or trouble at all? She'd be better than anyone else Jacques had had…sex with. He'd want to give her a gold medal.

…she hoped.

So _stupid._ It's just Jacques, it's _just Jacques_ \- she said in her head at least a thousand times throughout the date. The not-date! _Ughh,_ it was so frustrating. She hated feeling nervous. It was something only losers should feel!

They arrived at Jacques' apartment and Josée felt her heart start to beat even faster. If that was possible, anyway. Jacques reached over the car divider, put his hand over hers, and smiled. "Josée?" he asked, gently rubbing her hand with his thumb. "Are you sure you-"

He was cut off by her kissing him very suddenly and _very_ roughly. Well, that was kind of an answer. She was still shaking a bit, but Jacques knew she'd never admit to being nervous so asking was pointless. He kissed her back gently and smiled again as they separated.

Without a word, he hopped out of his seat and walked around the car to help Josée out of hers. "My princess," he said with a bright smile and his arms outstretched.

She smirked at him and took his hand, expecting him to let her down on the ground. Instead, she was very quickly pulled into his arms and carried bridal-style, just like when he'd carried her after the break up with Francois.

She loved it.

—–

Jacques wasn't one hundred percent sure how he should initiate this. He thought about just taking her to his bedroom…but they were comfortably chatting on the couch. Everything was as casual and normal as always. So suddenly suggesting they have sex might throw it off a bit.

But, as she always seemed to be, Josée was a step ahead of him. During a lull in conversation, she scooted closer to him and leaned against his chest.

Jacques responded with a nervous arm around her shoulder.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Josée interrupted. "Jacques…let's…go to your room."

She was blushing and refusing to look up at him and Jacques hated himself for being turned on by her shyness. She was just… _so cute_. He leaned down and kissed her temple before reaching his arms around and picking her up bridal-style again.

Josée wrapped her arms around his neck and Jacques smiled brightly at her. "Whatever you want, Josée!" he said earnestly, getting a cute smile in response.

She kissed his cheek as he carried her to his bedroom, where she was greeted by dim lighting - there were candles everywhere and she could make out the rose petals on the bed and the floor.

"Do you do this for every person you sleep with?" she asked with a smirk.

He blushed. "Ah…no, just the…really _, really_ special ones!" Honestly, he'd never done rose petals and candles before. But it was a big romantic gesture in all the movies that Josée might've seen and he wanted to make sure she understood how serious he was about this.

The entire time she was leaning against his chest, Jacques could feel just how fast her heart was beating. Happily, he noticed that it was finally going down to a normal pace. He really just wanted her to be comfortable.

Slowly, he leaned down and placed Josée on his bed, letting his eyes glide up and down her body before he crawled on top of her.

They'd done this before - cuddled or kissed while in his bed - how had he never thought this would happen?

Eagerly, he leaned down and started to kiss her neck, only to be immediately pushed off. Jacques felt his heart stop. Did she change her mind?

"C-can we just…start with regular kissing?" she asked quietly without looking up at him.

His heart swelled. "Of course, mon chou…" He let one of his hands crawl under her back and lifted her into a nice arch as his lips pressed into hers.

Josée was making what Jacques would consider the absolute _cutest_ noises he'd ever heard; he started to massage her back and his other arm was pressed into the mattress above her head. Josée gripped his shoulders tightly and kissed him back with with fervor. She was still noticeably nervous and he just wanted to relax her any way he could.

After a minute of that, she still felt tense. Jacques slowly lifted his head and gave her little pecks on the lips between his words. "Josée…we can stop…if you wa-"

He was cut off (again!) by Josée grabbing his head and crashing his lips into hers. Oh no, she _definitely_ didn't want to stop. He tried not to be too happy about it.

They kept kissing for a bit and Jacques gradually made his way back to her neck, this time Josée didn't push him off and instead let out a quiet whimper of what was clearly pleasure. He sucked on her neck a bit and moved his hands down.

"Josée, I'm going to take your dress off now…if that's alright," he mumbled.

She whined. "Don't ask my permission for-" She paused to shudder as his fingers brushed against the skin on her thighs, "for every stupid thing you do!"

Jacques smirked. "I'm just trying to make sure you're comfortable…"

She pouted and glared at him. "I'm comfortable!"

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her again while he pushed up her dress. "Don't get testy just because you're embarrassed…"

She didn't even get a chance to be mad about his comment - she was too distracted by his skin brushing against her stomach and her dress being pushed up so her lacy white underwear and bra were revealed.

Jacques blushed, not able to draw his eyes away from the cuteness. "I thought you only owned sports bras?"

Josée made a noise and Jacques pushed her dress the rest of the way off, tossing it to the side. She was blushing furiously. "I…didn't think a sports bra would be sexy," she said while looking away from him.

Jacques leaned down and kissed her again. She dressed up! Not just her outerwear, but her _underwear!_ For _him!_ There was nothing cuter in the entire world.

Hesitantly, Jacques started kissing her chest, focusing especially on the valley between her small breasts.

She bit her lip at that contact and grabbed onto his head with both hands, absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair while he brought a hand up to massage her breast through her bra.

She whimpered a bit and Jacques knew he needed to hear more. He scooted up a bit and kissed her again - using his hands to push her back into a nice arc so he could unhook her bra.

This was entirely new territory for them. They'd changed in front of each other plenty of times, but…never to this point. It was, at this moment, that Jacques decided to linger and really savor it for what it was.

She didn't move as he slowly slid her bra straps over her arms and threw it to wherever her dress was. And she looked absolutely beautiful. He leaned up to stare down at her - almost naked and totally flushed and covering her eyes out of embarrassment - and he _never_ wanted to forget the moment.

"Josée…"

"Wh-what?" She spoke quickly and sounded nervous.

He smiled and tugged at her arms. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen," he said with a genuine glint in his eyes.

Josée was staring up at him as he spoke and blushed even more heavily, if that were even possible. "…you don't have to butter me up…"

He leaned down and pecked her lips a few times. "I just couldn't help but speak my mind, mon chou! You look so cute and shy…it's so rare for me to see this side of you!"

She pushed at his chest. "W-well! Don't get used to it! This is j-just for tonight!" She was so embarrassed that she was stuttering through her words, which was just embarrassing her _further._ To Josée, it was like her own little cycle of Embarrassment Hell.

He kissed her again and started massaging her naked breasts, giving her hardened nipples extra attention when he noticed how they were reacting. She squeaked as he moved his head down and wrapped his lips around one of her nipples, licking and sucking it while Josée panted at the unfamiliar sensation.

Jacques lifted his head up to look at her and make sure she was enjoying herself. "…do you like how that feels, Josée?"

She whimpered and blushed - nodding rather than giving him a verbal answer.

Jacques took that as a good sign and started to move his head back down when one of Josée's hands clawed into his shirt.

"O- _off!_ "

"Hm?" Jacques asked.

"T-take your shirt off!" she said with a huff - it almost sounded angry, but Jacques knew she was just frustrated. _Adorable._

He sat up and reached over his head to pull off his shirt - normally he'd be concerned about what that might do to his hair, but he was in a hurry. Still, he gave her a little bit of a show - smiling and shaking his hips while he took off the shirt.

Josée growled. "Stop…stop acting so _smug_!"

He tossed his shirt to the side and leaned over her, a hand on either side of her torso. "Josée, I have never had and will never again have the chance to be this smug. Let me enjoy it."

She growled again and rubbed her hands up his arms, enjoying his sculpted muscles and how they felt under her dainty fingers. Jacques shivered at the contact and kissed her gently again before moving down to continue what he was doing before.

Josée gripped his shoulders while he continued to give attention to her chest: massaging, kissing, and sucking all around. She gradually started to notice a warm tingling feeling in the bottom of her stomach and she rubbed her thighs together underneath him.

Jacques noticed and moved his head up. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Just…" She shook her head. "I feel weird…and hot…"

He smiled at the look on her face and rubbed down her sides with his hands. "Do you want me to do something about it?"

After a second of hesitation, Josée nodded and whimpered as Jacques started tugging down her cute, lacy underwear. He loved that she got a matching set. So…. _so_ cute.

He slowly pulled them down and kissed all along her thigh and calf as he pulled them off and threw them in the direction of his pile of their clothes.

Jacques moved back to look at Josée when he found himself entranced - she was flushed, naked, shy, and waiting for him…if he had a camera, he'd desperately want a picture of this moment.

Josée glared up at him. "Wh-…what are you waiting for?" She said with a shaky voice.

He chuckled. "I'm just enjoying the view…gimme a moment."

She responded with an annoyed grunt that Jacques just thought was absolutely adorable…and totally sexy. But that may have been more because of her fully naked self laying in front of him still. _No Jacques,_ he had to remind himself, _this is not a dream. This is real. It's really, really happening._

"How long are you gonna sit there?" she asked with a huff. "You still have your pants on, y'know!"

Jacques chuckled and moved his hands to the zipper of his pants when what she said really hit him. His would probably be the first penis she'd ever seen. That…that actually made him a little nervous. Obviously it wouldn't disappoint – he knew he was a well endowed guy – but _still._ Her _first._ She'd probably never even seen one in a movie before. She was so innocent it was almost criminal.

"… _well?_ "

Jacques exhaled loudly and slowly shoved down his pants. "I'm going, I'm going."

She stared at his boxers and then glared up at his face. "Are you _embarrassed_ suddenly?!"

He cleared his throat and stuck his fingers in the elastic. "No, no, sorry. Just…give me a sec!"

"I'm sitting here _naked_ so forgive me for not feeling sorry for you!"

With an obnoxious eyeroll, Jacques took off his boxers and threw them off to the side. "There! Happy?"

He looked up at her face and she was _staring_ down at his…assets. She wasn't even blinking. Just _staring_. It made him both flattered and uncomfortable at the same time. There was no verbal reaction…no nodding, no equivocal head turn…just continued staring.

"J…Josée-?"

"So you just…put that inside me?" she asked suddenly.

Jacques felt the blood drain from his face. "Uh-uh, we, I, um…we can start off slower than that…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't want to hurt you, after all."

Josée blinked up at him. " _Hurt?_ "

He blinked back. "…y…es?"

"Why would it _hurt?_ "

Jacques felt like dying. He didn't think he'd have to explain _every_ little detail to her! Didn't she take sex ed in school? Maybe her fancy, special private school didn't go into detail. He wouldn't be surprised. Sighing, he spoke without thinking. "Well, your first time can hurt. My last girlfriend sa-"

He paused and considered what he was saying.

Josée glared at him. " _Who?!"_

"Ah, no! I meant that, um, in my experience, um-!" Foot in mouth, Jacques. "Some of my… _partners_ have said that it hurts a little…like…stings? A bit? Sometimes?"

She continued glaring at him and Jacques felt like he'd done something very wrong. Which, all things considered, he had, but, still…he didn't feel like staying on this topic. Instead, he quickly moved his hand to her crotch and started stroking his fingers between her folds.

Josée gasped and moved her hands up to his shoulders, squeezing them tightly.

He stroked a little faster. "Does that feel good, Josée?"

She whined and blushed, squeezing his shoulders even tighter. "D-don't change the subject!"

"Hm?" He stopped moving his fingers. "Do you want me to st-"

"JACQUES!" she yelled, digging her nails into his arms.

He smirked and went back to what he was doing, enjoying her squeaks and the adorable blush across her face. She wiggled a bit and crossed her arms over her eyes and he smiled even bigger. "Ahh, Josée you are _so_ cute!" Then he leaned down and attempted to kiss her lips with her arms in the way.

" _Ugh!_ " she growled. "I hate when you're sm-smug!"

Jacques ignored her complaints since he noticed just how wet she was – not to mention her whining and moaning getting louder every second. He moved his head down to kiss her neck and gradually stuck a finger inside of her.

Josée gasped louder than ever and quickly grabbed onto his wrist with both hands, shaking underneath him.

Jacques blinked. "J-Josée, it's okay-"

"You can't just-!" she mumbled, still shaking. "Y-you can't do that with no warning!"

He tried not to smile. "I thought you didn't want me to ask permission for everything?"

With her hands slowly loosening their grip, she leaned her head back onto the pillow and sighed. "R…ight. Okay…right." She let go of his wrist and moved her hands up next to her head. "Just…give me more warning next time."

Jacques nuzzled his nose into her neck and kissed it lightly. "I'm sorry, mon chou…" He slowly moved his fingers to where they were before and started moving the middle finger into her.

Josée grabbed a pillow and covered her face with it in an attempt to quiet her whines; she felt so obnoxiously loud that she wanted to _die._ It was so embarrassing and Jacques was just eating it up!

But as his finger started grinding into her, she felt her hips start to move in rhythm with him. It was even more embarrassing, but it felt…it felt so _good._ She didn't want him to stop.

After a good twenty seconds of that, Josée couldn't stop herself from breathing his name. "Ah-! J-Jacques…"

His eyes widened and his heart set on fire. Jacques immediately attacked her neck with kisses and started grinding his finger further into her, using his thumb to rub circles around her clit as she continued to moan and writhe underneath him. He felt like fireworks were going off in his head and he wanted her to say his name like that again.

"Josée…" he mumbled into her neck. "Is it alright if I…"

She squeezed his neck and Jacques felt himself flush. "…i-is it…um…"

"Wh-what?" she asked between breaths.

He felt so suddenly embarrassed at the idea of saying it out loud. Jacques shoved his face into her neck and started mumbling. "D-do you want me to…"

Josée froze and closed her eyes. "If you…if you think I'm…ready…" she mumbled, feeling stupid and anxious and…and _stupid._

He licked her skin. "…do _you_ think you're ready?"

She nodded and bit her lip, rubbing her hands up to the back of his head. "It's why I'm here, i-isn't it?!"

In a sudden bout of confidence, Jacques grabbed her hips and grinded his groin into hers. She gasped and moaned and Jacques nibbled on her neck a bit before sitting up.

"Let me just, um…get a…" He reached over to the dresser next to his bed and pulled out a condom.

Josée took one look at it in his hand and immediately turned her head away, blushing deeply. Just the sound of him unwrapping it was making her heart race, and his grunt as he put it on made her feel more nervous than she'd ever felt in her life.

"O-okay, Josée…don't…don't be nervous, just, um…" He grabbed her hips again and positioned himself in front of her. "…just try to relax, okay?"

She nodded and spread out her legs a little further – an easy task for her considering her flexibility, but it felt more difficult than usual. Her head was hot and she was so anxious.

Slowly, Jacques leaned forward and started pushing the tip in. He noticed Josée grip the sheets tightly and stops where he was at. "If you want to stop-"

"No!" She still had her eyes closed and was turned away from him. "I d-don't want to stop! Just-!" Her chest rose up and down as her breathing evened out. "Just go slow…"

"R-right," he mumbled, positioning himself again. "I just…want you to be comfortable, okay?" He saw her nod and moved his hands back to her hips, grabbing them firmly but gently. "Okay…okay…here we go."

Josée whined loudly as Jacques pushed himself inside of her. She kept her eyes shut tight and flinched just the slightest bit – almost enough to make Jacques want to pull out and apologize for the rest of the night – but then she relaxed and her grip of the sheets loosened up.

With that in mind, he started grinding slowly into her, constantly reminding himself that this is for _her,_ not for him. She had to come first. Or if he didn't even come at all, that was fine. This was about _her._

She didn't even get the chance to cover her mouth before she let out an especially loud moan – making her feel even more embarrassed than before, if that were possible. But she couldn't help it…it felt _amazing._ He was doing so little, but it felt like so _much._

Jacques' felt hearts floating out of his head at her moans and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being inside her and making her feel so good. This was even better than he could've imagined. She was just…so _tight._ And she was small, so he knew that beforehand, but he didn't know just what that meant. God _damn!_

Josée gripped his wrists again and rolled her head around, breathing out his name very quietly as he kept hitting her deeper and deeper. She wrapped her legs around his back and squeezed him closer to her without even thinking about it.

In a bout of that smugness that Josée hated so much, Jacques leaned down and started kissing her jaw sloppily and made his way up to her ear. "I'm sorry Josée…I couldn't hear you…" He kissed her earlobe. "What was that?"

She shivered visibly and dug her nails into his skin. "D-don't be so…mmm…so _smug!_ "

He responded with a chuckle and a hard thrust, making Josée whine and say his name even louder.

"I'm starting to think you like it when I'm smug…" he mumbled as he grabbed her inner thighs and spread them apart a bit further. He wanted to hit even deeper. He wanted to hit as deep as possible so she could always remember her first time being _amazing_ no matter who else she slept with.

"N-no, I-" Josée started to protest, but Jacques hit a _particularly_ good spot and she couldn't keep up. Instead, she let out a loud moan and moved her arms around his neck, squeezing him close and starting to pant. She felt like she was getting close to something, but she wasn't sure what it was. She whined louder and hoped she wasn't making him bleed with how much her nails were digging.

He continued kissing her neck and moved his mouth next to her ear. "Are you…are you close?"

She nodded even though she wasn't one hundred percent sure what she was talking about. She felt… _close._ She felt like something was happening and it was unfamiliar, but it made her want to scream.

Jacques lightly bit her earlobe and suddenly yanked her hips closer to him, then started thrusting down even harder into her. He knew she was about to come and he wanted to make sure it was amazing.

And it _was._ Josée screeched and clenched her eyes shut tightly as everything suddenly went white (or was it gold?) and squeezed him as tight as possible.

He could feel her clenching around him and continued to thrust into her until he finally came a few seconds later – thankful he remembered to grab a condom 'cause he would _not_ have been able to pull out in time.

After a few seconds of heavy breathing, Jacques leaned down to press his forehead against hers and opened his eyes to watch her bask in afterglow. He considered, at that moment, that he should tell her that he loved her. He really, _really_ wanted to. Was this the right time? Would there ever be a better time? He started to open his mouth to at _least_ say something charming and not idiotic, but instead he just asked, "…how did that compare to a gold medal?"

Josée shuddered and held him close. Her breathing had started to even out, but she still felt like she'd just been on a roller coaster. "It was…" She sighed dreamily. "… _almost_ as good."

Though some people might've been bothered by that sort of answer, Jacques couldn't imagine a better possible compliment from his partner. His heart raced as he once again considered telling her something romantic. "Josée…I-"

"I-I want some water," Josée mumbled, not realizing what she just interrupted.

Jacques sat up. "Ah, um-! Sure! Let me just-" He started to get up without realizing that he was still inside her, making Josée gasp loudly as he suddenly pulled out. He grimaced and covered the sides of his head with his hands. "I'm so sorry! I didn't-"

"It's _fine!_ " she said while waving her hands. "Just go get the water."

He nodded and hopped off the bed, praying to whatever God was out there that he made sure to lock the door before running naked through his apartment.. First off he stopped off in the bathroom to toss out his used condom and then quickly ran to the kitchen.

While he was gone, Josée took the minute she had to herself to really…soak in what had just happened. She still felt hot and sticky and tired – but none of that in a bad way, and she wasn't used to the feeling, but she definitely wanted to feel it again. She just had _sex_ with _Jacques._ With her ice dancing partner of eleven years. _Sex._ She'd never felt so…mature. And yet, simultaneously, she felt like a child. It was a really strange feeling of anxiety mixed with pleasure and she wondered if Jacques ever felt the anxious part of it anymore…since he was such an "expert," after all.

She knew he was a little nervous about this particular experience, but that seemed to be more because it was _her_ than because of the actual act. The thought of making him nervous about doing something he was totally familiar with made her happy – it was good to know she wasn't the only one who felt a _little_ weird about what they did.

Hopefully he didn't regret it, though. She'd mentioned before that it was fine if he didn't like having sex with her…but realistically, she really hoped he enjoyed it. _She_ definitely enjoyed it and kind of wanted to repeat it…but if he wasn't interested, well. Then she'd have to find someone else, she supposed.

Josée played with the sheets and tugged the blanket over her naked body. She still couldn't believe she was naked in Jacques' bed. It was so _weird._

And with that thought, he burst back into the room, gently shutting the door behind him and leaning over in all his nude glory to hand her the glass. He noticed her eyes linger downwards and tried not to smile about it, rather he chose to focus on what he wanted to say to her.

"Josée?" he asked, laying down next to her. "There's, um…something I'd like to say…"

She quirked up an eyebrow at him and sipped at her water.

He chuckled as he realized she really didn't have any idea what he wanted to say. It made him more nervous, actually…like maybe this was a stupid idea. But _still._ He'd gone this far. Time to say it. Time to open his big mouth and say the magic words in the hopes that Josée would be swept off her feet and say the words back to him rather than give him a weird look and judge him for using her naivete as a way to get closer to her.

"…I-"

He froze as the sound of his next door neighbor slamming their door. It wasn't super loud, but as he looked down at Josée's face, it became obvious that she had also heard it and it definitely made her uncomfortable.

"…is that your neighbor?" she asked, her voice small and nervous-sounding.

"…probably, yes," Jacques answered with an awkward chuckle. "He probably had a bad day at work…shouldn't be too loud anymore…"

Josée looked back and forth between the door and her partner before nodding and scooting further under his covers. "So…is there…anything else?"

Jacques laid down next to her, leaning on his arm. "We could, um…cuddle? And just…fall asleep together…if you want…" He smiled at her.

She played with her hands and looked up at him innocently. "…that sounds nice…"

He nodded and reached over the bed to grab his boxers. Didn't want to make her uncomfortable with his morning wood or something stupid like that. He put them on and looked over at her. "Do you want a shirt?"

She nodded.

Jacques looked around the floor to try and find her dress without any luck, instead grabbing onto his shirt instead. He blushed a bit at the thought and held it out to her. "Is this okay?"

She took it from his hands and put it on, hesitating only for a second. Once she was dressed, she pulled back the covers and patted the bed.

He'd been planning on spooning her while laying on top of the blanket, but hell, if she was alright with it, so was he. Jacques scooted inside and wrapped the covers over them, pulling Josée to his chest and leaning his head down to nuzzle against hers. He wanted to snuggle with her comfortably, but he still couldn't get the thought out of his head that he should be saying something dramatic to her at that very moment. As he thought about all the romantic potential outcomes to his confession, he brought up a hand to brush some hair behind her ear. She was beautiful. He loved being with her. He wanted to say that out loud. Normally he had no problem complimenting her to an embarrassing degree, but…now it felt a little odd.

Josée cuddled closer to his chest and sighed a little bit at the feeling of his hands draped around her waist and back. "…so does…do you only ever do it one time?"

He rubbed her back. "Ah, well…I don't want to overdo it this first time, but…if you…ever wanted to again…"

She smiled without looking up at him, choosing to snuggle into his chest some more and wrap her hands around his neck. "Mmm…" She rubbed down his shoulders to his chest.

"…Josée?"

"I think…" She twirled her finger into a circle in the middle of his chest. "…that...doing this regularly…could be beneficial to our partnership…" She said quietly. Maybe, deep down, she felt like it could be beneficial to more than just their partnership, but…no need to make Jacques uncomfortable.

He smiled and kissed her head. "Anything you want, Josée." He repeated that a few times in his head while he watched her slowly start to relax more and more until finally her breathing turned into a very light snoring. His heart _soared._ She was so cute, he could hardly stand it. And he knew that he wanted this sight – this beautiful image of his partner falling asleep in his arms – he wanted it to be just his.

He'd always been a little worried that he was falling for her. It was hard not to – she was smart, beautiful, cunning, dedicated…but this was the final straw. There was no fighting it any longer. He was absolutely, one hundred percent in love with his partner.


End file.
